Latest from the Janitors, Asps, and Other Books - Horace Goes Home (Other Books) - Elmer outfoxes the Chief of Detectives, who has it in for him.

Today’s excerpt is from Horace Goes Home, the second of three Elmer Bader books.  After Elmer outflanks the Chief of Detectives (who doesn’t much care for him), Elmer and his captain have a few words of levity.  Enjoy and have a great day.

m.j.

 

Gordon rolled his eyes, while Chief of Detectives Huey Longfellow acted as though he hadn’t heard or understood…if he did.  “Have a seat, Lieutenant.  We were just discussing a need for extra manpower.  The Vice President is making a stop here for a fast fundraising meeting, on his way back to D.C. from Hawaii.”

Elmer ignored the dig about sitting down without invitation, then smiled, “Be glad to volunteer.  Haven’t had my uniform on for quite a spell.  My wife likes the way I look in it.  Where should I report?  I’m bored to death with the thing I’m working on, so this will be a nice diversion from totally unproductive wool gathering.  I like these kinds of details.  Offer a nice break.  Gordon—how about you coming along, too?  Do you good to get out of the office.”  

Gordon, picking up on Elmer’s ploy, nodded, “Sounds like a good idea.  The two of us from this Department enough, Chief?”

“Was hoping for four.”

“Yes, sir—I’ll round up two more.  Can’t use Lieutenant Wilcox, I’ll leave him in charge.  Guess Smitty, since he’s junior.  Using him, then may as well have his partner, Sergeant Evans along, also.  Where and when, Chief?”

Longfellow told them, got up, and left without another word.  After he was gone, both Gordon and Elmer laughed.   “Nice move, Elmer.  We keep this stuff up, he’ll retire on his way to the nut house.”

“Actually, I heard a rumor about that…him retiring, I mean.  My birdie told me by the end of the year.  May be getting a gentle push out the door from the Chief…of Police, not…”

“What I thought you meant.  We only have two Chiefs…thank God.  How good is your source?”

“Very.  Word came from the big Chief’s office—almost out of his mouth”

“Who in the hell do you have in there, if I may ask?  Or dare I ask?”

“Aah…trade secret—oh, great and noble Captain.”

“Well, if it doesn’t get too far into your bag of trade secrets, who’s gonna replace him?  And why is he being eased out the door?”

“Second one first…closure rates aren’t what they once were—with the exception of Homicide, of course.  As to who, don’t know…though I did put in a good word for you, but was told you aren’t senior enough at this point to get the boost.  Though I understand my name was mentioned—now ain’t that a crock of crap.”

“Who in the hell do you know with that kind of clout?”

“Aah…”

“Shut up.  Get out of here.  Take your damned trade secrets with you.”

 

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