Latest from the Janitors, Asps, Other Books, and More Books - Whodunit Did It (Other Books) - Ruth gives Alan hell.

Today’s excerpt is from Whodunit Did It, the first of three Elmer Bader books.  Elmer’s feisty third ex-wife and current lover, working on his partner to get him in better shape.  After a hard workout the previous night, she fusses at him for not following the suggestion to take a bath before going to bed.  Enjoy and have a wonderful day.

m.j.

 

In the morning, Alan could hardly stand up.  He struggled into the kitchen as Ruth and Elmer exchanged glances.  Elmer looked at him.  “Did you take a nice hot bath like I told you to?”

“No…I hate baths.  I took a long shower.”

Ruth slammed down the large wooden spoon she had been mixing pancake batter with.  “Come with me.”

Ruth stomped off, with Alan walking slowly behind her.  When she reached his room, she pointed.  “Get undressed.  I’ll be right back.”

When Ruth returned to his room, Alan stood there in his underwear.  Ruth gruffly ordered, “Strip.  Two mornings ago you let it all hang out, so you ain’t got nothin’ I haven’t seen.  Strip!”

While Alan groaned as he took off his shorts, Ruth went into the bathroom for his bedroom.  There she started drawing water, along with the bubble bath liquid she had gotten.  She also poured in some Epsom salts.  She turned around as Alan, stark naked, came into the bathroom.  He looked at her pointing to the bath, “You’re worse than a damned drill sergeant.”

“What do you know about drill sergeants?”

“I served a hitch in the Marine Corps.”

“You a Marine, with your body in the shape it’s in?  Shame on you.  Get in.”

Alan sighed, but did as told.  The water was hot, but he soon got used to it.  He had to admit it felt good on his aching body.  Ruth ordered, “Soak.  I’ll be back—you damned sure better be in that tub when I get back or I’ll ring your neck—fatso.”

“Damnit, Ruth—I’m not real overweight.”

“Like hell,” Ruth grumbled, as she stomped out of the bathroom. 

When she got to the kitchen, Elmer was just putting some pancake batter on the flat skillet Ruth had for pancakes.   He grinned at Ruth, who smiled back, “Damned guy is worse than a kid.  And you—how can you stand by with your thumb up your ass while you let your very own partner get in such horrible condition?  You ever get to looking like such a slob, I’ll divorce you.”

“You already did.”

“Oh, yeah.”

 

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